Friday, 27 July 2012

I've changed. I've grown up. matured. And I am not sure if I am comfortable with myself right now. I've become a pessimist. I became like people who I really didn't like when I was growing up. I've become one with no time to be there for the others, to do fun stuff and to just let go. I mean I still loose up sometimes, but those times are really special and there is not many of those.
One of the worst things there is is the fact I've noticed it myself. I am not glad that it happened.
Before it was the teenage drama, which is quite bearable but now it became consistent bitching over everything happening. I lost my happy go lucky smile. If few years younger me met today's me I'd smack myself on a head with a huge hammer few times.
So there is a task for myself, get that attitude back. It makes things seem easier even if they're not. It felt like everything is interesting and there were no borders to do anything. At least there didn't seem like there is any problem, so I could overcome everything just because I didn't see it.
But writing this also made me realize that it isn't just me changing. There are changes in everyone of us. And changes of people around me is also a problem for me because I don't seem to find a way to pass them. It is forcing me down and my struggle to keep my head above the water seems to be hard.
Well, my task is clear.